Raindance

March 10th, 2010

 

 Some say it’s raining,
some say it’s not.
It all depends
on what you mean by wet
and which way the wind blows;
this is a complex age		  

The rain caused the flood

No,

the rain is the flood

and clouds caused the rain

No,

the clouds are the rain

So what caused the flood?

 

The flood god
 

  Cyclonic
variables
incubate
in moist
subtropical
Capricorn,
swagger
northward,
caress
the coast
or close
their eyes
and flail
themselves
to blind
oblivion
at sea
  Sixteen thousand
satellite pictures
unravel the earth:
an orange-peel collage
of all the weather
that’s fit to print.
Some say it’s raining,
Some say it’s not
No one will ever know:
the photo lab is deluged		  
Now
then,
how
many
of you
dogs
know
how to
kill
a shrub?
Raise
your
right
hands		   The human body
is ninety percent water.
How do they know?
Every seven years,
The Bureau of Standards
obtains a person
and wrings him out:
nine parts water
to one part fire.
Procedure challenged
in superior court
(Galen vs. Illinois)
Challenge overruled,
nine to one
 

Some say it’s raining,
some say it’s not,
and wet is relative
like cold and hot,
humidity, bittersweet,
blacklight in space-time

     But,

at the complex age
of two and a half,
at the penal stage,
man holds the answer:
Feet sweat.
Cats spit.
Milk sticks.
Dry pants
replace wet pants.
Absolutely

 

Posted in SEASONS & CYCLES | No Comments » | email

Bird Rules

March 8th, 2010

Bird Rules
(and their flighty exceptions)
1.
 The bigger the egg, the uglier the bird.
  Except for herons and swans. Sorry.
2.
 Shallow nests have lopsided eggs.
  Jostle a lopsided egg, and it rolls in a tight circle, not out of the nest. Oval eggs need a deep nest to be safe.
3.
 The early bird has big eyes.
  Large eyes gather more light, so big-eyed birds can forage and sing – and look out for predators – while the light is still dim. Small-eyed birds have to wait until the light is brighter.
4.
 Large birds walk. Small birds hop.
  But robins do either. Hopalong Cassidy rode a horse.
5.
 Long-legged birds stand on one leg.
  Usually.
6.
 Swimmers tend to have webbed feet.
  Penguins have webbed feet but swim with their wings.
7.
 Night-flyers migrate at low altitudes.
  They’re weak flyers, so they can’t get high. But they give their predators the slip under cover of darkness.
8.
 Large-winged birds fly higher.
  Well, of course. Migrating ducks, geese, and plovers may get up to two miles high. At night, they rest.
9.
 Canada geese fly in a "V" formation. German geese fly in a "W".
  Okay, so they don’t. But they should.
10.
 St. Louis cardinals mate for life.
   
 

If a bird had a moustache, where would it be?

Posted in New Stuff | 2 Comments » | email

Targets and Markets

March 6th, 2010

Excerpted from Media (in the Encyclopedia of Advertising)

Since advertising is intrinsically aggressive, its language tends to be military. Use of a narrowly selective medium such as Dakota Farmer magazine or a billboard outside a big customer’s house is often referred to as a "rifle shot" as distinct from a broader "shotgun approach." In reality, it would make little sense to kill the farmer before he has a chance to buy your product, for example hog feed.

Still, marketing and media "targets" are selected before a "launch" or a "blitz," and several "flights" of commercials may support a "roll-out" in a "target" city.

In truth, "rifle shot" and "shotgun" are exaggerated claims for advertising’s precision. "Strafing runs" might be more accurate, militarily (or, in some cases, "Fourth of July Fireworks Displays"); technically, "random walk" computer models might well narrate the path of an advertising campaign through society. For single ads and commercials, the appropriate image is that of a pin-cushion.

Still, like any inexact science, advertising must be quantified in order to be funded.

Posted in Excerpts | 1 Comment » | email

World of Science (1)

March 4th, 2010

 

Forms of Static Electricity
Sheet Lightning
 
Feet Lightning
 
Teat Lightning
 
Tweet Lightning
 
Piezoelectric Effect
 

Posted in New Stuff | 3 Comments » | email

Wrong Book

March 2nd, 2010

I pulled this book down from the shelf
and several others followed, then all of them,
an avalanche of books and shelves,
the bookcase and the wall behind it,
finally the house,

the whole row of houses, the neighborhood
and city flattened, a nation in ruins,
just when the literacy rate was bottoming out,
the whole world homeless and collapsing
into the bruised and battered earth,
a black hole forming to suck in the galaxy,
the rest of the universe tumbling after
and God hanging on for dear life
to one trailing corner of the fabric,
his robe flapping, his slippers falling off
until, briefly, you could see his feet sticking out,
and then gone.

Books are booby traps, and I’m the booby.

Posted in NATURAL WONDERS | 2 Comments » | email

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