Life Insists

February 8th, 2010

Life comes to matter.
Matter comes to life

All manner of matter,
no matter how deep in the earth,
how far out in space,
how frozen or sunken or sere,
how bleak the surroundings,
how hot or how hostile,
life simply insists

To bring into being
an utterly lifeless world,
now that would require creators:
an extremely large indian,
Fenrir’s older brother,
tyrannosaurus warthog,
a 96-trillion-ton nun, a mean one,
who grew up without any toys,
who won’t let the stars form pictures
of bulls and fish, who scolds molecules
if they repeat themselves

But the minute she turns her back,
some brittle, inert bit of rubble
will burst into song

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The Sciences

February 6th, 2010

Psychology is all neurology,
which is just biology
(which is destiny)
and biology is all chemistry,
a subset, really, of physics,
which is part of astronomy
since all those forces trace back
to the way the big bang banged
—either a tirade or a tantrum,
we’re not sure which,
but when we find out,
               finally,
we’ll know the gender of god,
thus what to expect next
…which is psychology
Sciences Baby

Posted in NATURAL WONDERS | No Comments » | email

In Search of a Slogan

February 4th, 2010

Excerpted from Corporate Advertising (in the Encyclopedia of Advertising)

Since it’s unheard-of for anyone actually to read a corporate ad, most advertisers try to smuggle at least one simple thought into the reader’s or viewer’s memory — usually in the form of a self-serving* themeline or slogan attempting to sum up the ego-ideal of the company. There are two reasons for this:

First, a lavish expenditure on corporate advertising has to be justified as serving some sort of business purpose. The usual "proof" that the money is well spent consists of audience surveys and attitude studies that show how well the message is getting through.

Since no one in the target audience is paying much attention to the message, the only way to win at the polls is to keep repeating one catchy slogan and then survey the readers and viewers on whether they’ve ever heard it. The process is called "aided recall."

Asked about the slogan, respondents may say such things as:

"Oh, that awful thing!"

"Yes, I heard it, and it’s a monstrous lie."

"Oh, yes – isn’t that stupid?"

"If I hear that thing one more time, I’ll scream."

Each of these answers counts as a "yes," and all the yes votes, however scathing, are added up into a grand total called "awareness." High awareness proves that the investment was brilliant.

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The Awful Truth

February 2nd, 2010
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Is there
somebody
in there?
 
 
 
IS THERE
SOMEBODY
IN THERE?
 
 
No.
Are you
coming out?
No.
Will you be
coming out
later?
Will you be
coming in?
I might.
It depends.
Who are you?

The Truth.
The truth?
THE TRUTH!
Well then you
HAVE TO
come out!

Who ever
told you that?
MY MOTHER
told me that.
Everybody’s
mother told
EVERYBODY,
 
THE TRUTH
WILL
COME OUT
 
 

It’s not true
 

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The All-Purpose Dissertation Preface

January 31st, 2010

Despite voluminous academic publications on the subject treated here, no scholar has hitherto undertaken to write this particular dissertation: a surprising omission in view of how precariously close to the present treatment many previous theses have ventured. In the interest of closing the consequent gap, this work is intended to provide future scholars who wish to pursue comprehensive research into the writings on this subject matter with an additional resource, without the citation of which any attempt at an exhaustive bibliography must henceforth be regarded as incomplete.

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