A Trusted Name in Philosophy
Entry for 2017-12-28

Excerpted from Under Philosophers
She asked me to hold the line, and I was left to doodle, jotting down notes for my first ad under the heading of Philosophers.
I thought I might use the name Aristotle, which has a certain something that my own name lacks. Other successful businessmen have used the names of dead people to good advantage—Pontiac, for example—so I was sure it would be all right for my ad in the Yellow Pages:

A trusted name
in philosophy
for over 2,000 years

Rates reasonable

The lady came back on the line and said that they didn't have a category for philosophers. Would they start one for Aristotle? Well, that would depend. If the heading is in use in at least three other cities, then her agency would put through a routine request to the telephone company to start it in this city.
"But I just checked the Philadelphia directory," she warned. "They don't have any philosophers either."