Asked the Novice, who kept feeling drearier,
"Will I be like you, Mother---cheerier?"
"Why, no, Sister dear,
you're a charwoman here
Whereas I am the Mother Superior"
A hermit and nun in Quebec
while at Vespers decided to neck.
The lips she revealed
were hermetically sealed;
they died smiling and both went to heck
Indiscreetly, young Sister Jerome
for relief from her vows went to Rome.
"The next time you hope
for a boon," said the Pope,
"will you please leave the children at home?"
The hermit atoned: rubbed his nose on
the sandstone he slept and arose on.
"In dreams, I can see
all the angels," said he,
"and none of them has any clothes on!"
An East Asian nun, during Tet,
took a young hermit crab as a pet.
She taught him to say
the rosary one day...
There were beads from Sikkim to Tibet
"Good Sister, you grow roly poly,"
said the hermit. "One's body is holy!
Through prayer and fasting,
gain life everlasting.
Pray faster, and don't fast so slowly."
"If Instead of Apes
We Had Come from Grapes"
is a book of light verse
written and illustrated
by Alan Van Dine